What I wish I had known at 13
Some life lessons we just have to learn for ourselves, no matter how much advice or warnings you are given you just have to figure it out for yourself. But hindsight is a wonderful thing. I asked 25 women and girls aged 17-86 a question: What do you wish you had known sooner and what do you wish you could tell your 13-15 year old self? I’m going to keep it simple and let you interpret what they’ve said however you need to. Here’s what they said:
Know when to stay quiet and just let things happen the way they are going to. You don’t have to control everything all the time.
Slow down and experience the joys of being young. Don’t wish away your time at home.
You will not marry the guy you met when you were 14!
It might hurt but it’s okay to feel the way you do, and you will survive it all and grow into a better person from what you go through.
Don’t give a f**k and just enjoy whatever comes your way.
You don’t have to have your entire future planned out and you should just be willing to take life as it comes, the good and the bad.
Have more confidence in the control you have over your own life.
Be more authentic, confidence will come with authenticity.
Don’t stress over friendships, they will come and go and trying to impress other people is a waste of your time and effort. They probably won’t be impressed with you anyway.
It’s important to have lots of different friends, surrounding yourself with a range of people will help you discover your true self.
Not everyone is going to like you and that is okay! It doesn’t matter how “perfect” you are, you simply can’t be everyone’s cup of tea.
Don’t wish your youth away, there’s a reason there’s so many songs about being a teenager.
Don’t stress so much about the future because things will align with time, and nothing is set in stone.
I’d say to stop comparing myself so much to those around me or on social media. I can’t control how I look, and just because I might look different from those I ‘idolise’, it doesn’t take away from my own beauty.
Your physical looks do not define you as a person.
Your younger teenage years are when you are developing so its easy to be critical and insecure of yourself around that time but take it easy on yourself! You still have so much time to grow into a person you’re proud to be, so there’s really no reason to be so hard on yourself. I remember being so mean to myself but now looking back there was no reason for it.
It's okay to distance yourself from toxic people who don’t make you feel like your best self. Even if they’re your only friends at the time, know that it will work out and you deserve better.
A lot of people in middle school think that the friends they have are the friends they will have forever, but growing apart from those people is totally okay.
Don’t be afraid to try new things or speak up. Putting yourself out there, experiencing and learning new things is really cool and rewarding.
Being skinnier is not the meaning of life, anyone who values you more as a person for being thinner is not someone you should want to surround yourself with.
It’s okay to not be right, being wrong about something doesn’t make you less worthy as a person.
Life is what you make of it, you can be dealt a bad hand and still make something amazing of it.
Find a job that doesn’t feel like work, maybe it won’t come with the salary you were hoping for, but your happiness is worth infinitely more than a Christmas bonus.
Never be ashamed of what you love. Regardless of what your parents, boyfriend, teachers, friends say, if you love something, keep enjoying it.
Life is going to be full of disappointment, excitement, pain, joy, love, people coming and going, a coworker you hate, a really exciting job opportunity, rejection, and celebration. The only guaranteed constant in your life is you! You have to learn to live with you, and all of you. That means not spending everyday focussing on your nose or your stomach or your pores. You are stuck with yourself for life so you might as well learn to love you.
-Jemma <3
